..........

I think I now understand why homesickness is a SICKNESS.

-I've never wanted anything more. (to be with my family)
-I feel physically ill (head throbbing, no appetite, on the verge of crying the past two days)
-My friends sending me pictures of them together is NOT HELPING (still love you guys)


Stay strong. stay strong. stay strong...


I never knew I was such a baby haha. I just keep picturing my family partying at my cousins as we always are this time of year. I have never known anything else.


But GUESS WHAT FRIENDS AND FAMILY. While you are freezing your booties off in Utah and AZ, I have plans to go to the beach tomorrow!!!
(yeah that's not really helping but I'll fake it til I make it yeah?)

the good and the bad..

Let's start with the bad so I can end on a happy note!

Every year my family goes up to Utah for Thanksgiving. This year everyone is together except for me.. I feel soso spoiled and ridiculous complaining as I'm in Hawaii, but trust me there is no place like home. I would be with my fam in a heartbeat. And island fever kicks in once you're here for this long.....But still about a month left and I need to stay strong, and make the most out of my time left!

 Happier note:

I had such a great weekend.

 

Me and my girl Hailey went to the PCC to see our friend Jace perform in the canoe show. Love this kid. I feel like he's my big brother! We met summer term and he's one of the coolest people I've ever met. He's such a stud and did so good!

 I can't even tell you how EXCITED I was to see that wreath...sign of christmas!!

 

Soooo we climbed a coconut tree..cause you can do that sorta stuff here. Haha they just didn't capture me doing it. Which is probably a good thing. Because I may or may not have only gotten about a foot off the ground. It was SO much harder than it looks, promise.

I went to Haleiwa with some friends to eat thai food. It was so much fun! Laughed way too hard the entire time.

 Just prancing around in the street.

Love this kid! And our toms. And our "handstands"

 

 Catherine! We maybe met through fb..and have been friends since summer term!

 Lotsa laughs.

Weekends like these make me love life.

And so the countdown begins

I have exactly one month left living here!

Where has the time gone...

I am so stoked to get home. And see the fam and the friends and feel Christmas.  I think I've mentioned this before but Hawaii sucks at holidays.. The weather doesn't change and I think that's what doesn't pump everyone up for upcoming holidays. Halloween was so so weird. I don't know if it's just being in a college setting versus home or what. But it just felt like any other day. One thing that was way cool was going to Castles the weekend before and everyone was surfing in costumes. That's Halloween in Hawaii for ya.

 Mastumoto's hmmmmhmm delish.

 Hitchiking 12 thousand times to get to Haleiwa and back.

 

Don't think I've ever laughed harder. Chanel and I got trapped in this section of jungle and it was the greatest adventure. Until I looked down and noticed I was covered in bugs head to toe...but seriously we were trying to find the path to meet up with the group we were with and we just kept getting more and more lost deeper into this never-ending collection of branches and trees and bugs. PILES AND PILES of branches.

Hawaii's amazing. 


(BTW I made a decison! I am going to Dixie next semester and I'm super stoked)

Uncle Douglas

I want to be home, I want to be home, I want to be home.

Okay so now that's outta my system.. My Uncle Douglas passed away last night and I want to be home. K it wasn't out of my system. I wasn't super close with him but he is family and an amazing man. And mostly I know it will be extremely hard on my mom and I want to be home for her. Plus I just want to be home... He's been in my prayers every night for the past couple years because of his health but I still didn't want to believe it when I woke up to a text from dad, telling me the news. I already feel him watching over me along with my other ancestors and it is a bittersweet feeling.
This is my Uncle Douglas as a BYU Football Thursday Hero. Like I said, amazing man.
 
"A happy home is but an earlier heaven."
-President Monson

ps. HOME in 36 days!

There's more to life..

FOREWARNED: If you do not wish to know some of my deepest thoughts, go elsewhere.

A friend from high school has inspired me. If she catches on, I want her to know I have always been jealous of her. She is amazing and I wish I would have been there for her when she needed a friend.

High school is a rollercoaster for most people. I think we all have challenges throughout high school and many are personal that most people aren't aware of. I know I had my fair share and most people have NO clue what was going on in my life. I literally just read this girl's blog for over an hour and cried. Why was I so selfish in high school? Why wasn't I aware that there were other people who needed a friend? Why did I even care what people thought about me? Sooo many questions with no purpose to regret.

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking."

Yes, Derek Zoolander errbody. LOVE this movie.

But wanna know who taught me that truth, that EVERY girl should learn for herself? My momma.

 My mom is beautiful inside and out and I love her SOOOOOsoso much. I hope she reads this and realizes that. Whenever I have had any negative feelings/thoughts/etc. about the way I look, I remember this one time a long time ago when my mom said something that has stayed with me. K if you know me at all, I HAVE THE WORST MEMORY. Seriously, sometimes I think to myself "my poor husband, I am going to be diagnosed with Alzheimer's at 30.." Anyways, I can not quote her exactly. But I remember I was probably in 8th or 9th grade (when most girls start caring a LOT about what they look like). The transition age from awk junior high to worrying about high school life. Yeah, I started caring somewhat and I think that worried her. One day, we were in my room talking and she told me how beautiful I am. She warned me about the dangers of becoming obsessed with your looks/weight/body/etc. I remember thinking "yeah, yeah whatever, I don't even care toooo much" But at the same time, I knew what she was telling me would be important someday. And man, oh man, being a girl it has been a saving grace to me. That lesson she taught me that day has done wonders in my life. She made me realize that I am beautiful. Every girl is beautiful in their own way. Yeah I'm being a cheez-ball so you can pounce anytime you want.. But seriously. You do NOT have to be size zero. You do NOT have to have perfect skin. I could go on. It is so easy to pick out the negative things about ourselves, it is quite ridiculous. I can picture Heavenly Father laughing at how ridiculous we can be. Or maybe crying. He has blessed us with our bodies and we need to respect them. And not fret about them. Which is why I am so thankful for a mom that taught me that I am beautiful. It SICKENS me to hear some of my friends mention the things their moms say about their weight and such. I hope I have daughters. And I hope to be able to teach them that they are beautiful just the way they are. That they deserve a man that sees that beauty.

SIDENOTE: I used to be jealous of my friend's moms that looked like barbies. WHAT WAS I THINKING. My mom is the best mom out there and everyone should be blessed with a mom as good as her..

EVERYONE has something they don't like about themselves. Why waste time disliking it? Learn to love yourself. Confession: I have freckles on my lips. Yeah kinda gross huh? Haha I used to DESPISE them. And when people noticed, I would get extremely self concsious about it and super awk. How embarrassing. And even still when people point it out, my face turns 893 shades more red probably.  But guess what? I can't make those weirdo freckles go away so all I can do is love them. Yeah, I wear SPF always to minimize them. And you can minimize the things you dislike about yourself allll you want, but they won't go away! Work with the body you have and be your best self. OPTIMISM. 

SOLID PROOF. Thank the heavens for makeup.

Know what this tangent reminded me of? The Help.

If you haven't seen this movie, DOOOOO it. I've only seen it once but oh man it was goood. Uplifting yes.

AHH I just wanna pinch those cheekies. I want a baby girl to tell her how beautiful she is. Aibileen you INSPIRE ME. 
Yes, I just wrote a novel. And I doubt anyone read it all the way through. But as I've mentioned, my blog's for me time. 

To sum things up, I have the BEST MOM EVER. I will never ever be able to repay you, momma. First off, I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. Well duh. But seriously. And everything you've taught me.. yeah never, ever will I be able to repay you. I love you so much mommy. I know I had my bratty years and aren't we both glad that is behind us? Hahaha probably you moreso than anyone. I was such a brat to you somedays. I never wanted to be. I just didn't know who I was back then! I'm still your beautiful baby girl that likes getting her back scratched and cuddling with you. Missing you every day!

Life is short, enjoy every minute. And learn to love yourself while you're at it.

Seventeen

Although Thanksgiving isn't for seventeen more days, and sadly I won't be with family and yummy food, I am overwhelmed with thanks already.


I have the greatest family and friends in the world.
I was able to experience LIVING in paradise.
I was born and raised in the church.
I am one healthy, blessed, and happy girl. 


Today was a broadcast for our stake conference. I was lame this morning and yawned through the talks that were probably way good. Elder Bednar and President Eyring spoke to us! Yeah yeah I'm lame. But tonight on the other hand, I fell in love with President Packer. He is the cutest little old man. He spoke at the CES fireside and I could have easily cried through his whole talk. It was that good.


Be HOPEFUL, be PATIENT, be PRAYERFUL.

ps. I was so social this weekend..you proud? 

Easy peasy

Since being in Hawaii, I am lucky if I even brush my hair.. Seriously. I haven't brought out my straightener or curling iron and I rarely do my hair at all. It's so humid/rainy/oceany that there's no point. My sister told me about this way to curl your hair using only a headband and I just tried it last night!

 All you do, is put the headband around your head and wrap good-sized sections of your hair around it. I did it after I had just showered and my hair was mostly dry.  Just kinda play around with it. I had no idea if I was even doing it right..and was soo nervous to take it off in the morning.

I have way too much hair and it got slightly tangled for a sec. Don't fret.

I was shocked at how good the curls turned out! I was expecting a kinki mess that I'd have to hide in a bun. Nope, I actually felt cute here for once. I'll definitely be using this method from now on. No more heat damage ladies!


Tip: Next time I might just wrap the top sections, and braid what's left of the hair underneath. With less hair wrapped, I think this may illuminate the tangled mess I had going. And the braided section will end up as big waves and blend well enough! Try it out!